I am in hot yoga. There is so much water pouring off my red hot face on to my towel on the floor while I’m sitting here in utkatasana (chair pose) that I’m drawing a happy face with the never ending stream. Round 2, round 3… Yeah my legs are burning, but what you can do once you can do twice, and I’m occupied with my sweat art. Then, something interesting happens, the teacher says, don’t believe the voices in your head, you CAN do this.. And I hear the noises of frustration, of defeat, even 1 “can’t”. And then I wonder “EXACTLY WHEN DID YOU GIVE AWAY YOUR BELIEF THAT YOU ARE AWESOME?” WHEN?? I want to scream it. I’m raising 2 daughters and 1 son and I see the constant chipping away at the belief of self awesomeness. I’ve experienced and watched the process of self restoration. I see Friends, colleagues, family members… Even myself. I talk to college and medical students. We take less pay, crash into glass ceilings created by ourselves, or created by others but accepted by us, we enter into bad relationships, accept abusive spouses (physical or mental), develop eating disorders, and put ourselves through cosmetic procedures to meet the expectations of WHO?
When did you lose the feeling that you could do anything? That you were the Best? That you were awesome? When did you decide you weren’t good enough, you weren’t pretty enough, smart enough, you didn’t have what he or she had, you couldn’t do it? When did “can’t” enter your vocabulary? Why do students tell me they can’t be surgeons? Engineers? When did you decide that it was okay that you made less than Johnny at work, or didn’t get that promotion? Why did you justify it? You always had to leave at 6 or 7 and weren’t as dedicated because you have kids to care for? You come in early, work through lunch and work steadily through the day, while Johnny comes in late, takes a rediculously long lunch and plays video games at his desk all day? Why do you criticize your projects and tell your boss you can do better? When did you give away your awesome?
Get it back! It’s yours and it’s in there. It might just need some dusting off, or you might need to dig deep, but go and get it and then hold on tight and let it shine!
You are awesome!
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